Searching for someone who can lie down with me on a beach, underneath the blinking stars, and just talk for the whole night...
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Got a chance to live alone for a day or two few days ago and it was really wonderful. i just like the tranquility of solitude, the freedom of being alone, and of course, the liberty of listening to my music for however long and loud that i want it to be. I was not constrained by anything except my own mind.
Anyway, I had stumbled upon a cassette tape that afternoon, and out of curiosity, i decided to play it and listen to was in it. Just as the tape had started playing, floods of memory just overwhelmed me. It was the cassete tape that my sister and I used to play, by recording our voices or singings and playing them out (to us, it was fun then), when we were young, around 9 years ago. So i just listened to what we had recorded 9 years ago, recalling the fun that we had, the way that we behaved then... It was so sentimental to bring those memories back. And it was also very sentimental to realize that things can never be the same again.
Few years back, when i was at my puberty period, my mum always asked me to speak with a higher pitch because she always could not hear what i was saying properly. She would say then, "Do you know that your voice last time was pretty sharp and clear? Not like now, so low and hard to catch." Then, because it was really hard to sense the change of one's own voice, i normally would reply her like this, "No la, no change what, it is still so clear. You grow old already, that is why there is some problems in your hearing."
But aftering hearing my "sharp and clear" voice 9 years ago, i could really see that there is a stark contrast between my present voice and the voice i had when i was young. The voice sounded so unfamiliar, like all the joy and freedom and puerility are so distant to me now. This made me feel more sentimental thinking that i am already so old now, feeling that my empty shoulders then have already loaded with so much weight now...
But time can never be reversed, all we only can do right now is to steal the joyful moments of childhood from our remaining memories...