Searching for someone who can lie down with me on a beach, underneath the blinking stars, and just talk for the whole night...
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damn pissed off with my mum... i think we are drifting further and further apart in terms of ideology and mindset. and pls, why do parents still treat their child/children as 10-year old kids regardless of whether he/she is already 18, 25 or 30+? if they so want us to grow up, then just loosen their grips and let us learn from our mistakes instead.
nagging can NEVER solve any problems, that's all i can say.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
BT1 is finally over, there are quite a few regrets here and there... but, just happy that it is over. tests in hwachong is no longer just on-the-spot kind of thing, it really requires us to prepare properly before hand.since it is over alrady, i have to move on to other things now. hope i'll make good decisions in the upcoming plans...
Thursday, March 19, 2009
defeated
demoralized
despise
Sunday, March 1, 2009
fac cip today was, er, ok... doing almost the same old thing as what did over the last dec hol as starhub promoter... just that this time round is doing for a more meaningful cause, and the job was much much easier... today's experience was more enjoyable than the dec hol one because this one was done under no stress at all... the starhub one was really stressful, stressful of getting rejected, scared that i would knock into doors of someone whom i know (which did happen and was quite malu..) and worst of all, stressful of getting zero sales at the end of the day when seeing other pple getting quite a number... But it was those stress that enabled me to feel quite relax and natural today, if not i would be like stammer and the mind keep thinking of how to phrase my words to sound persuasive, then in the end pause for too long and the people get impatient, and then yeah... rejection or wanting to chase me away immediately... the 'special training' wei and i had was pretty useful, it can be applied to many circumstances in daily lives, thanks to those pro 'conmans' from starhub, yen and alvin and all...
but i observed the same old trend today as what i had observed last dec hol, that malays are much friendlier and receptive to strangers who knock their doors than chinese. They are much more courteous and are less protective or aggressive. i wonder why... though some of them, i believe, are not very well-educated, they are very cultured. but for the chinese, they always hold a dubious and reluctant expression to strangers. why? why are we so overly-cautious about strangers? even if we do, why those old aunties who always got cheated by conmen are chinese? what a world of irony...
though our school has a bit of the so-called 'anti-mud' sentiment, i feel that they are perfectly fine. in fact, i quite like them actually, they are just so free and unrestrained by society, can do whatever they want and all. moreover, they are so easily contented, even by trivial things. but for most of us, we are so restrained by society, peer pressure, family that we have to conform to external other people/things and morphed ourselves into some robots which are controlled by other people's opinions and wants.
i think i have too many issues with this world and it is good to pen them down. but not now, because i am reluctantly conforming to the society pressure to get a good degree so as to get a good job in the future so as to lead a 'good' life. in other words, i needa mug... not for knowledge or a sense of genuine fulfillment, but maybe a false sense of satisfaction which can only be provided by a graduation cert. :(