In the search of the meaning of Life...

Thursday, February 28, 2008

23:35

feeling quite upset now, after reading the reports and the conditions of Yao... though i m not great fan of Yao, i have this strange affinity towards him. yesterday, it was such a shocking news to hear that he will be asbsent from court for 4 months due to the fracture of his left leg. this means that he will not be able to participate in any games for the rest of the seasons, not even the play-offs... now that Rockets is playing so well, with 13 winning streak, and has suddenly lost its best player in the court, its future in the play-offs, or even in the rest of the regular games, is filled with uncertainties. if that happens, all of their efforts made in the season will be gone to waste... sigh.......

and i read another article just now, which says that Yao might not even be able to in the Olympics. it will be such a disappointment with an Olympics without him...

hope he will get well soon...

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

20:42

i am in the lift, with a maid and two children, one boy one girl. the door closed and the lift is rising. there is a kind of an awkard silence between the maid and i, we tried to stole glimpses of each other but at the same time, trying to avoid the meeting of our eyes and avoid letting the other party know that he/she is being glimpsed at. (i believe many people have encountered this kind of situation in a lift before).

Of course, the two children are oblivious of this awkward silence and continue to live in their own worlds. Looking at their joyful expressions and smiles with geniune happiness coming from the bottom of their hearts, i am infected with this small atmosphere of happiness and very surprisingly but naturally, i smiled. and then, the boy moves forward and hugs the girl. at first i thought that the girl would move away or push the boy away, but to my surprise, she welcomes his hug instead. Well, to adults, if they do this on the lift or in the public, they will definitely invite some stares from other people. but in this case, the exchange of hugs is so full of warmth, full of affection, full of love...

i cannot help myself but to widen my smile. the boy looks at me and his eyes are rolling, shining, and looks really innocent...

this is what i long to be in possession of, once again, but then i will never get it back again. never...

Monday, February 18, 2008

habit is habit

18:28

had our JTS on saturday and got myself bruised all over just because of one of my old habits. From young, i was taught on riding a bicycle in a right-wheel traffic. in other words, i was taught that the right brake is the main brake while the left brake is the secondary brake, and i have been riding bicycles with this brake system since young.

but singapore's traffic is a left-wheel system, this means that bicycles are designed in such a way which suites the system too. so, the main brake is on the left and the secondary brake is on the right instead. so i just went cycling without a preemptive notion that the bike is different from those bikes that i used to ride.

and so, there was an instance when niyi decelerated unexpectedly with his one-petal bike, and being the one tailing close behind, i was forced to decelerate too. i squeezed the left brake in an attempt to slow down, which what i always do, but then, the bike halted on the spot and the tires screeched. due to this sudden halt which, the hind tire and the whole body of mine were lifted up due to inertia. fortunately the inertia was not so great, my bike and i regained balance after staying in the mid air for a second or two. it really gave me a fright, but i must also admit that the quality of the bikes in ECP are damn gd, the brakes are extremely sensitive.

but that was just the trailer of the following excitement. later on, i was riding with a few other seniors and we were trying to do some tricks with our bikes. then one suddenly accelerated and signalled to us to follow and ride with full speed. we followed him of course and got ourselves lots of wind and fun. Suddenly, to my surprise, the senior in front of me suddenly crossed to my lane. if i did not slow down immediately, i will collide into him. so i braked, and yes, i pressed the wrong brake again. this time round, i pressed the left brake with full force due to the emergency of the situation and i only realized that i pressed the wrong brake when i was in the mid air. I was not so fortunate this time due to the greater inertia, i was flung from the bike and made a 360-degree-somersault before landing onto the ground with quite an impact.

Luckily, i was not seriously injured, only got some bruises on my left arm, left hip and left knee. maybe i could use this as an excuse not to swim tmr during PE :P

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Valentine's

21:20

I am not gonna declare my love to whoever or share my romance here on this very day of Valentine's. I am here to discuss some of my thoughts and opinions on Valentine's.

It's Valentine's again and as usual, i tried not to involve myself much into this occasion. Honestly, there is a small tinch of envy in me when i saw couples being loaded with bags of presents, flowers and balloons. at that very juncture, i suddenly had an urge to get a stead immediately. but then this urge is quickly overcome by another thought of mine: well, must learn from past experiences, fruits can hardly bear at this early stage. If not, i will be drown myself into frustration and emo feelings again like last year. It is good that my vigilance and determination are being enforced through this occasion.

another thing that i want to discuss is that people are way spending too much money on gifts and presents already. For me, i feel that giving gifts on Vday is just a kind of ceremony which basically caused by peer pressure. there are 2 types of peer pressures, one is that you scared that someone will give present to you and you have no present for him/her, so in order to avoid this awkward situation and play safe, it is better to buy something for him/her. the second pressure comes from friends where the people around you are all giving presents, and it is our human nature that do not want ourselves to be lose out. So, in order to fulfill my "duties", i had also bought some presents for my Angel and 2 Mortals. But i don't think my presents mean anything because i thk appreciation and love are best expressed in the simplest and most normal ways in our daily lives. not just on this kind of special occasion, alone. In fact, if geniune love and gratitude are expressed on occasional or even regular basis, there is no need to give anything on Vday, because the the former far outweighs the latter.

and, i feel that now is not the best time for us (students) to buy presents to give our friends, especially those people who spend a lot of money on them. This is because no matter how much you spend, no matter how nice your gifts are, the money we spend on the gifts, comes from our parents, it is earnt by their hardship, not ours. i feel that if we are not using the money that we earn ourselves and use parents' money to impress someone or make someone happy, the gifts that we give can never represent 100% of our heart. Thk of it this way, do you think it is good to use someone else's work and say that it is done by you? Will you feel more proud of yourself and your work if you accomplish the work on your very own?

For me, i will only truly involve myself in the joy of giving presents (except for hand-made presents of course) when i am financially independent. I want to feel the 100% satisfation and pride when i give presents. So now, it is not the time yet... but will be soon...

and btw, pls don't say this post is emo............. most of my posts are not emo, k?

Saturday, February 9, 2008

23:57

sis had a really bad lecture by dad, which is quite once in a blue moon thing, which she deserves it.

thk i should do something. seriously.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

hate cold wars

21:02

=It's new year and i wanted to blog something good, but then i hate to say this: i cant... i m pretty fed up now.

my dad flew here few days ago to celebrate CNY with us, to celebrate this joyous occasion with us. But on this very day of 大年初一, my mood is seriously dampaned by my mum. Well, to provide some background info, my mum and dad are perenially in disagreement with each other on one issue (which i shall not reveal here), sometimes, they tend to disagree with each other to such extent that they end up in quarrels. (actually not quarrel la, my dad is always the one keeping quiet, letting my mum to blurt out everything, if not, saying anything or trying to make a defence of himself would invite further and longer "machine-gun" sessions...

well, i always look forward to the reunion of my family, but somewhere deep inside my heart, there is always this fear in me that gives me a sense of insecurity: the reunion would bring about some heated arguments between my parents. well, though their arguments will not pose any danger to their relationship or marriage because they will be fine again after 1 or 2 days (worst case), it is really a suffer for my sis and i to endure such embarrassing and awkward situations whereby to see both of them in soured faces and in mutual daoing...

now that i m experiencing the first cold war of the year 2008, on this very auspicious day of chinese new year somemore, i can only express myself in @#@!#@$@%^%)#$@

poor mum... poor dad... poor sis... and poor ME......

to inject some happy elements in this post, here are the photos that are taken on the eve of CNY:

Central Plaza

Photo of 07S65 & 08S65

Lao Lao Lao

Chopsticks are interlocked before creating"yusheng rain" in the sky

Selling fried Mars Bars at street market (which earnt us $90+)

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

life is full of ironies

23:07

Looking back at the times i had during pre, exam and post-exam period last year, when i felt damn troubled and emo and stressed (not because of exams, but because of one BIG trouble, which was exacerabated by the stressed of exams), i feel lucky that the emo feeling and trouble thoughts had gradually faded away with time...

but now, with basically nothing interesting to think about or any troubles in mind, i feel that my life is pretty empty nowadays, which makes me feel so bored lately...

no matter what, whatever the case, it is sad that homework and studies could never feel up the emptiness in my heart..........what a sad thing.

21:41

listening to this song forces tears well up in my eyes

thk watching her performing it live will make me cry...

actually my favourite version is this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDkcJ-62uuY, but the i cant get the html code...

this version is nice too: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJuqn5EBKSM
cd version is very nice too :)